Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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