she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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