literally had 100 drinks last night.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he was CRYING into my vagina
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
