i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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