I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
