Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
