btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
