i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
