**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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