so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
