windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Green mimosas i think yes
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
