am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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