She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
