Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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