Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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