The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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