She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
