A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
