he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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