it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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