just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
