my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
