a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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