Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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