in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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