There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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