Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize