Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
