C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
