Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
