HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
