wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I have surprise drugs for everyone
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
