Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize