He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
