Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Randomize
