john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
