Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
