Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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