So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
