I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We have started to decorate penises.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
