Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
