Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
