Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
