I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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