Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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