I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so let's talk penis.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
