Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize