We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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