some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
