It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
