sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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