Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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