So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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