It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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