i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
