butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Congratulations! We have a period
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
