I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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