best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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