I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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