You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
