you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize