very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
