Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
