I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
