I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
