Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
