so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
