It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
