You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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