Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
