9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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