He felt like a one man threesome
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
