My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
